jealousy (started following me)
Oct. 3rd, 2021 11:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
paglambingfandom: the boyz
pairing: juyeon/sunwoo
rating: gen
word count: 1,146
other tags: university AU (vaguely), a 3 + 1 of sorts
A/N: i had a weird burst of inspiration last week and it somehow lead to this... the quality is a little questionable but you know what they say, the way to get over perfectionism is to post something you don't particularly like etc etc. also this was supposed to be a drabble but i literally do not know what happened. enjoy(?)
♥︎
1.
Juyeon rarely ever gets jealous.
But when he pads out of his bedroom and finds Changmin and Sunwoo cuddled up on the couch watching something on Netflix, the irrational, sleep-addled part of his brain chooses violence. He wants to pry Sunwoo away and cuddle with him instead, because it’s his God-given right or whatever.
(Anything to keep the sour feeling from pooling in his gut.)
Changmin sees him squinting at them and grins. “Juyo!” He sits up and untangles himself from Sunwoo, who makes no move to look at Juyeon. Juyeon frowns. “We’re watching Squid Game, wanna join us?”
“Uh,” Juyeon says. He scratches at his nose. “No, thank you.”
“Okaaay,” Changmin sing-songs as he moves to spoon Sunwoo again. Juyeon doesn’t like the tone of his voice but he doesn’t think much about it, turning around to make his way to the bathroom.
2.
Okay, so he does get jealous sometimes.
It’s not a big deal, he tells himself. He is twenty-three and capable of adult reasoning. Sunwoo being physically close with other people shouldn't be any of his business.
It's not a big deal.
“It's not a big deal,” Juyeon tells Hyunjun as much. They’re sat on the couch in Eric and Haknyeon’s apartment, watching people drunkenly curl into each other. Hyunjun shoots him a look, glaringly obvious that Juyeon isn’t convincing anyone, much less himself.
“Hyung, you’ve been looking around the room for the past five minutes.”
“So what,” Juyeon says flatly. He cranes his neck and continues his attempts to look for Sunwoo as discreetly as possible.
“I see him,” Hyunjun says. “OK, wait, maybe don’t look—”
The warning comes a little too late; Juyeon spots Sunwoo pressed into someone’s side at the far end of the room, giggling about something he can’t hear.
Juyeon’s face must twist into something ugly because Hyunjun pats his thigh a little too hard and stands up.
“I’m gonna get a drink,” he says. “Want anything?”
Juyeon shakes his head and pulls on Hyunjun’s arm to stand up. “I’ll come with you.”
?.
“So just tell him,” Jaehyun says.
Juyeon glares at him as he settles into the bench press. “Why should I?”
“You’re a grown man. Make grown man decisions.”
Juyeon snorts. “You haven’t even confessed to Sangyeon hyung.”
Jaehyun folds his arms in front of his chest, defensive. “This isn’t about me.”
“Then you don’t have the ascendancy to tell me anything,” Juyeon says. He grips onto the weight and huffs. “So are you gonna spot me or not?”
Jaehyun rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything, only positions himself by Juyeon’s head in response.
3.
Juyeon gets roped into joining a road trip Eric planned a few weeks back.
It’s not too far out, a trip that takes about three hours at most in normal traffic. Eric promises he’d have a lot of fun, although Eric’s definition of ‘fun’ remains questionable. Juyeon doesn’t have anything better to do with his time, anyway, so he agrees.
What greets them when they arrive is not exactly fun.
Eric manhandled him into taking his shirt off the moment they got out of the car (“I need everyone to know I’m friends with a sexy man!”), leaving him missing the threadbare warmth and protection it provides now that he feels like a loser.
Sunwoo sits between Chanhee’s legs as Chanhee combs his fingers through Sunwoo’s hair. Something twists, terrible and unpleasant, in Juyeon’s chest. Eric doesn’t seem to share the same resentment, however, because he yells “Chanhee hyung!” and begins to barrel towards them.
(Of course he doesn’t. Chanhee and Eric have been an open secret in their friend group for as long as anyone can remember.)
Chanhee pulls Eric down to sit with them using one hand and Eric immediately presses into Chanhee’s side. Eric says something Juyeon can’t hear, causing Sunwoo to reach back and swat at him.
When Juyeon gets to their spot, Sunwoo beams up at him, an annoyingly wide smile that takes up half of his face and gives Juyeon vague chest pain.
“Are you going to sit with us?” he asks. “I can move and make some room.”
Juyeon shakes his head. “It’s fine, I think I’ll walk around and swim for a bit.”
“Be careful, Juyeon-ah,” Chanhee says, smiling coyly.
Juyeon resists the urge to roll his eyes as he turns to leave.
+1.
“Hey.”
Juyeon looks up from where he’s been pushing his toes in the sand and wriggles them out. “Hi.”
“So,” Sunwoo says. He sits cross-legged beside him. “Eric said you wanted to talk to me.”
“What?”
Sunwoo makes a face and shrugs.
(If Eric wants him to admit that he harbors more-than-platonic feelings for Sunwoo, it probably isn’t going to happen. Sunwoo doesn’t need to know; his jealousy is something he should deal with on his own, and declarations of affection aren’t going to solve that.)
Juyeon sighs and waves a hand. “It’s nothing.”
Sunwoo raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s all good.”
“Can I say something, then?”
Juyeon ruffles his hair to shake out bits of sand. “Go ahead.”
Sunwoo leans back on his hands and exhales. “Remember when you asked me if I liked someone and I said no?”
Juyeon nods. He remembers the small spark he felt, the brief moment of giddiness at the thought that maybe he had a chance. “You said there wasn’t anyone yet.”
“Yeah, well. I lied? Not a question,” Sunwoo adds, fiddling with his fingers. “I lied. I don’t know why I lied, I just—it was the first thing I thought of, because I didn’t want you finding out what I really felt because I thought it was obvious and I didn’t wanna suddenly get rejected? But it’s just like, you know.” He sighs. “I do like somebody. I like you. A lot.”
It doesn’t really make sense. Juyeon and Sunwoo are friends and they’ve never done anything to breach the line of anything more, anything but. Juyeon likes Sunwoo. Sunwoo likes him back. Juyeon is torn between crying and laughing and asking Sunwoo if this is all just a joke.
He’s never wanted something to be so true this badly.
“I—” Juyeon starts. “I’m not rejecting you.”
Sunwoo looks at him in confusion. "Thank you?"
Juyeon laughs. “I like you too. I really, really do,” he says, feeling the tips of his ears heat up at the admission. “I saw you at the party, you know. You were with someone and you were laughing and I just—it felt—I didn’t like it. But yeah, I do like you a lot, too.”
When he looks over, Sunwoo is smiling at him, a wide annoying one that splits his face in half and makes Juyeon smile back.
(Juyeon rarely ever gets jealous.
But with Sunwoo returning his affections, he finds that he doesn’t need to anymore.)
pairing: juyeon/sunwoo
rating: gen
word count: 1,146
other tags: university AU (vaguely), a 3 + 1 of sorts
A/N: i had a weird burst of inspiration last week and it somehow lead to this... the quality is a little questionable but you know what they say, the way to get over perfectionism is to post something you don't particularly like etc etc. also this was supposed to be a drabble but i literally do not know what happened. enjoy(?)
1.
Juyeon rarely ever gets jealous.
But when he pads out of his bedroom and finds Changmin and Sunwoo cuddled up on the couch watching something on Netflix, the irrational, sleep-addled part of his brain chooses violence. He wants to pry Sunwoo away and cuddle with him instead, because it’s his God-given right or whatever.
(Anything to keep the sour feeling from pooling in his gut.)
Changmin sees him squinting at them and grins. “Juyo!” He sits up and untangles himself from Sunwoo, who makes no move to look at Juyeon. Juyeon frowns. “We’re watching Squid Game, wanna join us?”
“Uh,” Juyeon says. He scratches at his nose. “No, thank you.”
“Okaaay,” Changmin sing-songs as he moves to spoon Sunwoo again. Juyeon doesn’t like the tone of his voice but he doesn’t think much about it, turning around to make his way to the bathroom.
2.
Okay, so he does get jealous sometimes.
It’s not a big deal, he tells himself. He is twenty-three and capable of adult reasoning. Sunwoo being physically close with other people shouldn't be any of his business.
It's not a big deal.
“It's not a big deal,” Juyeon tells Hyunjun as much. They’re sat on the couch in Eric and Haknyeon’s apartment, watching people drunkenly curl into each other. Hyunjun shoots him a look, glaringly obvious that Juyeon isn’t convincing anyone, much less himself.
“Hyung, you’ve been looking around the room for the past five minutes.”
“So what,” Juyeon says flatly. He cranes his neck and continues his attempts to look for Sunwoo as discreetly as possible.
“I see him,” Hyunjun says. “OK, wait, maybe don’t look—”
The warning comes a little too late; Juyeon spots Sunwoo pressed into someone’s side at the far end of the room, giggling about something he can’t hear.
Juyeon’s face must twist into something ugly because Hyunjun pats his thigh a little too hard and stands up.
“I’m gonna get a drink,” he says. “Want anything?”
Juyeon shakes his head and pulls on Hyunjun’s arm to stand up. “I’ll come with you.”
?.
“So just tell him,” Jaehyun says.
Juyeon glares at him as he settles into the bench press. “Why should I?”
“You’re a grown man. Make grown man decisions.”
Juyeon snorts. “You haven’t even confessed to Sangyeon hyung.”
Jaehyun folds his arms in front of his chest, defensive. “This isn’t about me.”
“Then you don’t have the ascendancy to tell me anything,” Juyeon says. He grips onto the weight and huffs. “So are you gonna spot me or not?”
Jaehyun rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything, only positions himself by Juyeon’s head in response.
3.
Juyeon gets roped into joining a road trip Eric planned a few weeks back.
It’s not too far out, a trip that takes about three hours at most in normal traffic. Eric promises he’d have a lot of fun, although Eric’s definition of ‘fun’ remains questionable. Juyeon doesn’t have anything better to do with his time, anyway, so he agrees.
What greets them when they arrive is not exactly fun.
Eric manhandled him into taking his shirt off the moment they got out of the car (“I need everyone to know I’m friends with a sexy man!”), leaving him missing the threadbare warmth and protection it provides now that he feels like a loser.
Sunwoo sits between Chanhee’s legs as Chanhee combs his fingers through Sunwoo’s hair. Something twists, terrible and unpleasant, in Juyeon’s chest. Eric doesn’t seem to share the same resentment, however, because he yells “Chanhee hyung!” and begins to barrel towards them.
(Of course he doesn’t. Chanhee and Eric have been an open secret in their friend group for as long as anyone can remember.)
Chanhee pulls Eric down to sit with them using one hand and Eric immediately presses into Chanhee’s side. Eric says something Juyeon can’t hear, causing Sunwoo to reach back and swat at him.
When Juyeon gets to their spot, Sunwoo beams up at him, an annoyingly wide smile that takes up half of his face and gives Juyeon vague chest pain.
“Are you going to sit with us?” he asks. “I can move and make some room.”
Juyeon shakes his head. “It’s fine, I think I’ll walk around and swim for a bit.”
“Be careful, Juyeon-ah,” Chanhee says, smiling coyly.
Juyeon resists the urge to roll his eyes as he turns to leave.
+1.
“Hey.”
Juyeon looks up from where he’s been pushing his toes in the sand and wriggles them out. “Hi.”
“So,” Sunwoo says. He sits cross-legged beside him. “Eric said you wanted to talk to me.”
“What?”
Sunwoo makes a face and shrugs.
(If Eric wants him to admit that he harbors more-than-platonic feelings for Sunwoo, it probably isn’t going to happen. Sunwoo doesn’t need to know; his jealousy is something he should deal with on his own, and declarations of affection aren’t going to solve that.)
Juyeon sighs and waves a hand. “It’s nothing.”
Sunwoo raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s all good.”
“Can I say something, then?”
Juyeon ruffles his hair to shake out bits of sand. “Go ahead.”
Sunwoo leans back on his hands and exhales. “Remember when you asked me if I liked someone and I said no?”
Juyeon nods. He remembers the small spark he felt, the brief moment of giddiness at the thought that maybe he had a chance. “You said there wasn’t anyone yet.”
“Yeah, well. I lied? Not a question,” Sunwoo adds, fiddling with his fingers. “I lied. I don’t know why I lied, I just—it was the first thing I thought of, because I didn’t want you finding out what I really felt because I thought it was obvious and I didn’t wanna suddenly get rejected? But it’s just like, you know.” He sighs. “I do like somebody. I like you. A lot.”
It doesn’t really make sense. Juyeon and Sunwoo are friends and they’ve never done anything to breach the line of anything more, anything but. Juyeon likes Sunwoo. Sunwoo likes him back. Juyeon is torn between crying and laughing and asking Sunwoo if this is all just a joke.
He’s never wanted something to be so true this badly.
“I—” Juyeon starts. “I’m not rejecting you.”
Sunwoo looks at him in confusion. "Thank you?"
Juyeon laughs. “I like you too. I really, really do,” he says, feeling the tips of his ears heat up at the admission. “I saw you at the party, you know. You were with someone and you were laughing and I just—it felt—I didn’t like it. But yeah, I do like you a lot, too.”
When he looks over, Sunwoo is smiling at him, a wide annoying one that splits his face in half and makes Juyeon smile back.
(Juyeon rarely ever gets jealous.
But with Sunwoo returning his affections, he finds that he doesn’t need to anymore.)
€_¥_€\¥_€_
Date: 2021-10-04 12:08 am (UTC)This is literally so cute goodbye i love this so much
no subject
Date: 2021-10-05 09:01 am (UTC)