12th house year shenanigans

[paglambing]

i know time is just a made-up construct but it’s nice to have something to hold on to for a sense of renewal so here goes ♡


✱ mini media round-up
(thank you to my girlfriend for watching almost all of these netflix shows with me. without you i don’t know what kind of other media i would’ve consumed this year, but it would’ve definitely been a lot less than what’s listed here)

queer media is never going to leave the list of shows i’ve watched this year — i watched gameboys, gaya sa pelikula (like the movies), heartstopper, queer eye & queer eye japan. i enjoyed these shows a LOT, particularly gaya sa pelikula because wow that was so terribly fraught but i love it… and the queer eye series & spin-off were really fun and feel good shows to watch and heartstopper obviously :,) my gf and i aren’t done watching all QE seasons yet but so far it’s been so so so unbelievably good. i’m also currently watching drag race philippines but i’m stuck on episode 3 so maybe (hopefully) (fingers crossed) i get to write about it during one of my 2023 media round ups or even in a separate post ,, i am genuinely loving it so far though ("pp krit 🤝 minty fresh 🤝 chanhee," i say. the audience throws tomatoes at me before i even get to finish my sentence.)

i also watched bee & puppycat because I AM BEE AND PUPPYCAT LUVR. I HAVE BEEN SINCE LIKE 2014. (b&pc and bravest warriors i will always always carry you with me) kinda want a season 2 because i need to know what happens after now that cardamon’s mom is awake… i need to know so bad…

my latest obsession is food/travel shows: we watched the leftovers show, baking impossible, easy bake battle (we love you antoni), the world’s most amazing vacation rentals, and recently i’ve been into watching somebody feed phil! my coworker recommended it to me and it’s such an enjoyable watch so far ;_; ❤️ phil rosenthal reminds me so much of my grandfather

last but definitely not the least, i’ve watched a ridiculous (and i really do mean ridiculous) amount of video essays. my personal favorites are: safiya nygaard’s “how retail stores manipulate you”, jenny nicholson’s “the last bronycon: a fandom autopsy”, alice cappelle’s “we created ‘that girl’”, salem tovar’s “tiktok’s ‘stay at home girlfriend’ trend is making everyone mad” and “exploiting your relationship for views is not okay”. i’m currently going through jenny nicholson’s “a needlessly thorough roast of dear evan hansen (2021)” and i’m very very VERY much enjoying it LOL i also can’t wait to get through mike’s mic’s 2-part unhinged recap of glee… i enjoy lengthy youtube videos and this genre is not an exception (me when i am gemini)


✱ the bad
okay we’re starting off with the fraught stuff that’s happened to me this year because i want to end this post (and this year) with a bang so just bear with me please t__t

medical expenses
i will not go into detail but WOW the absolute number this year did on my health is astounding actually i feel like i spent more on medicine and check-ups this year than for other necessities and extra expenses. when is this country gonna have accessible and affordable healthcare

the government...
remember when i said “if bbm wins as president i might actually stop writing” and you know what. that actually happened unfort :-/ hopefully i can get back into writing for 2023 (when is my milsun f1 fic gonna come home from war) but no promises because if there’s one thing i learned this year it’s i never know what the hell is gonna happen no matter how much i plan things

healing is terribly, terribly difficult
my mental health has been dragged to hell and back this year… i’ve been grappling with my godawful anxiety for who knows how long so i decided to take more concrete steps to heal (but more on that later). people like to talk about healing as this incredibly freeing thing but not a lot of people talk about how DIFFICULT it is to start choosing better coping mechanisms and attitudes towards yourself like how unhealthy behaviors become your comfort zone so doing something that actually helps you strangely feels wrong… like this is supposed to feel good but also ⁉️ why does it feel icky sometimes TT


✱ the good
starting therapy
so i started therapy this year! and while it’s been incredibly helpful for me why does therapy have HANDS bro T__T also she’s never gonna read this but shoutout to my therapist she’s so cool and so kind she reminds me of cassey ho from blogilates

connecting with other people irl
there are barely any restrictions here now so i’ve been meeting up with friends a lot more! going out is still pretty tricky for me but i really really really love catching up with friends ;_; my gf and i also made sure to go on dates every month before they go back home so it’s been really fun!! i love being with people and reconnecting with them irl it feels so good to be in the presence of people you love and care about very much ^^

working out
i got to work out a lot more consistently this year, which made me realize that maybe i DO like exercise more than i was led to believe growing up… i am a pilates girly and at this rate i will ALWAYS be a pilates (and pilates-adjacent) girly

my first job
started working part-time for the first time ever in my life this year x__x it’s been really fun so far but it’s also felt like such a big transition for me skills-wise… being an adult with adult money is WILD like i still can’t believe i’m working an actual adult job right now why does time fly so fast

experimenting with hair colors
one of my favorite bits of this year was finally getting to experiment with dyeing my hair! thankfully my workplace isn’t strict with hair dye or anything so i’ve had like 4 different hair colors in total this year LOL i’m not sure if i’ll keep dyeing my hair for 2023 because hair maintenance is so difficult TT but we’ll see!!


✱ onwards to 2023
board exam
i’m taking my licensure exam for teachers next year so i’m studying for that now… incredibly nervous but hoping for the best ;;

lots of other things planned out but can’t disclose
i have a lot of plans for 2023 but i don’t wanna jinx them so my lips are sealed for now, who knows what’ll happen next year anyway x__x but i’m still feeling pretty optimistic about 2023 so fingers crossed!


that's all, friends! i know i haven’t been on here as much but thank you for sticking with me throughout the year somehow ^_^ here’s to hoping we won’t need to be as resilient anymore next year ❤️